Inner Demons
by KhaosFrost
Summary: Written during a night of insomnia. Manga based. This is what happened to Gaara after the chuunin exam. (not for the faint of heart) :)
1. Darkness

**Inner Demons**

(literally)

* * *

"I don't want to be alone anymore." The words echoed into the cold emptiness, repeating and repeating, but no voice answered. 

No voice except one…

_No one can defeat loneliness_

…the voice of nightmares.

"Shut up." Fear had faded years ago, only hate for this voice remained.

_To be despised, hated, and feared by everyone_

"Go away! Just—Scram!" As if he could just make it get up and walk away by yelling.

_There is only one purpose for us_

"No!" He knew it by heart.

_To feel alive by killing_

"But…why!"

_Let me feel it! I haven't had enough yet!_

"I'm sorry…"

_What?_

"I fight for myself alone."

**PAIN!**

Gaara snapped awake suddenly and painfully. Crying out as the pain in his shoulder burned. He was face down on the ground, he coughed sand, sand that smelled and tasted like blood. It was bright, too bright as the familiar sunlight burned his eyes.

"Kankouro! He's waking up!"

"Temari?" Gaara weakly lifted his head, but pain from the movement made him collapse, he felt so…weak. "Temari?" Please be there, don't leave me like this.

"Yes, Gaara?" Temari, scared as hell.

He coughed again, "What…am I?"

* * *

Author's note –most of the dialogue used in this chapter are all lines that Gaara says in the manga, I haven't seen any of the anime yet so this will be entirely based on the manga (sorry). Tell me what you think, this is my first fanfic in a long time, and the last one I did was humor. Am I spelling Kankouro's name right? 

Oh yeah, this will contain spoilers. (Narutochuushin rocks!)


	2. Together and Alone

Kankouro watched the burning sand beneath their feet as they walked slowly and mechanically across the desert.

If he dared gaze out of the corner of his painted eye, he could see the face of the weak form Kankouro and his sister were carrying. He could see those lifeless eyes staring at nothing, with a strange quiet he had never seen on that face before. Most ninjas that Kankouro knew weren't afraid of their younger baby brothers.

Most ninjas didn't have younger brothers like Gaara.

Gazing back at the sand, placing on foot in front of the other numbly, he remembered…

"_Kankouro, today you graduate and become a genin," The shadowed silhouette in the doorway in front of the desert sun set spoke grimly, "It's about time you got to know your younger brother, Gaara."_

"_What?"_

"_Gaara surpassed the level of Genin three years ago, now that you and your sister are both genins you will become members of his team. Baki will be your teacher."_

_Too afraid to refuse the dark voice of authority, too shocked, too afraid of his second meeting with his younger brother…_

_Kankouro replied dazedly, "Yes Kazekage." He wasn't allowed to call this man, Father._

_0-0-0-0-0_

_Opening the door Kankouro hesitantly entered his new home. Gear on his back, Kankouro stood there…unable to open the door._

"_Kankouro?"_

_The puppeteer jumped at the sound of the noise behind him, he turned to see his sister Temari._

_They nodded to each other in mutual understanding, the closest thing to a relationship they had, and together entered the door to their future._

_Inside, Baki-sensei stood with arms folded, he glance at them with the one dark eye that showed._

_Kankouro and Temari looked around, no Gaara. Kankouro realized he didn't even have a clear picture of what his brother looked like; all that remained was only a haunting visage of a dark-eyed nightmare of death…_

…_Kankouro looked upstairs, and realized his brother hadn't changed at all._

_The dark child at the top of the stairs gave a glare as cold as ice, as harsh as sand, and walked out of sight. Upstairs a door slammed shut._

_Baki sighed, and glanced at the two stunned siblings, "Well, at least he didn't try to kill you this time." It wasn't a joke to make light of the situation; it was a comment of reality, cold and simple._

"Kankouro!"

The puppeteer's head snapped up at the sound of Temari's voice. "What is it?"

"Gaara says there's someone behind us."

Kankouro looked back nervously, "Sand shinobi?'

Temari shook her head, "Can't tell."

"Sound." Gaara whispered roughly his dry voice barely audible, "I wish… they weren't…so angry."

Two words ran through Kankouro's mind, Not Good.


	3. Message From Sound to Sand

"I see four people off in the distance," Temari calculated coldly, "and they're making no effort to keep themselves hidden."

Even better, Kankouro thought sarcastically, "We're in no condition to fight."

"They are supposed to be our allies," Temari reminded darkly.

"Yeah, I'm sure they're here to congratulate us on a job well done." Kankouro quipped angrily, "It was Gaara's fault everything went wrong in the first place…" Kankouro stopped mid-sentence and looked at Gaara fearfully, as though he had just signed his own death sentence.

"Let them come." Gaara stared at the ground blankly.

It wasn't like they could stop them anyway. The three sand shinobi just continued walking foreword. The sun was sinking in the sky.

They heard the four ninja's land a few feet behind them. Temari wanted to look back to see who they were, but kept her head faced foreword.

"Oi! Weaklings! Get over here!"

Kankouro spoke without looking back, "I think you have the wrong people. Leave us alone." Temari could see the glowing blue chakra forming on her brother's fingers.

"Stop!" one shouted, "I said stop!"

Temari glanced sideways at Gaara, who was still staring emptily at nothing.

Temari and Kankouro stopped, the four sound ninja's stood before them. Wind blew over sand, filling the silence as the two sand shinobi gazed emotionlessly at the four sound ninja's. Only one was strong enough to be recognized, it was Tayuya, with three faceless ninjas who wouldn't be a threat, if they weren't so weak from the battle and from their journey.

Tayuya spoke, "Orochimaru is not pleased with the performance of the sand."

"No, really? I thought the battle turned out wonderfully!" Kankouro said bitterly.

"It is the sand's fault we failed." Tayuya didn't move her eye's from Gaara, who hung limply between Temari and Kankouro.

"If you've got something to say or do, get it over with." Temari's eyes flashed angrily.

Tayuya smiled, "This is a message to the Sand from the Sound." Tayuya pulled out a slender ivory flute and held it to her lips, "The reward for failure is death"

Every tired and sore muscle in Temari's and Konkouro's body went tense.

"Shut up." Gaara spoke without looking up.

"Make me." Tayuya dared, taking a breath she blew into her flute…and coughed and gagged on sand, sand that tasted and smelled like blood. It was all over her, she jumped back, but the sand came alive wrapping around her leg and smashing her into the ground, deep into the burning sand. She coughed and sputtered blindly, the three ninja's attacked, throwing Shuriken, and Kunai that whistled through the air as it was sped along by chakra.

The knives crashed into a thick wall of sand. Temari and Konkouro flinched, ready to dodge the weapons, but the sand had shielded them as well.

That had never happened before.

Tayuya had transformed into a dark monster of herself and was screaming and kicking helplessly as she sunk down into the sand, the other ninja's had already disappeared, blood leaking out of the sand.

"This is a message from the Sand to the Sound," Gaara looked up, eyes full of a determination never felt before, "Come near my Goddamn village again and I'll kill you."

Tayuya sunk beneath the sand, her fear-filled, high pitched screams muffled beneath the surface.

Gaara looked down as everything went silent, "We should keep moving." His voice hadn't changed, but something else about him had.


	4. Home

It was night when they finally reached the maze-like canyons that led to the village of the sand. The towering stone canyon walls were dark, empty and cold, like everything and everyone else, Temari thought. Wind whistled through the empty paths, swirling sand into their faces mockingly.

Kankouro's eyes were half open and he glared jealously at Gaara who had gone unconscious shortly after meeting with the sound shinobi. For over four days, that was how it had been. Gaara constantly passed out or drifted off into sleep, and constantly woke back up again. The demon was too weak to have any power over him, Temari and Kankouro had reasoned. They wondered silently if Gaara kept waking up because his mind and body had forgotten how to sleep, and how to heal.

A single guard watched from the shadows, not asking any questions. From the lack of security, it was easy to tell that something was wrong in the village. No words passed, only mutual suspicion and fear.

Right, left. Temari stumbled along groggily. Kankouro was practically sleepwalking. Gaara was fast asleep, his breathing barely audible even in the overwhelming silence. Deep down, Temari wondered what was happening in the deep abyss of his mind.

Inside Gaara's mind, Shukaku dwelt in the darkness. But this demon wasn't behind unbreakable bars, this demon stalked in the shadows, limping and breathing heavily in pain, angry as hellfire. Gaara sat alone, in the middle of a small, dim patch of light with his arms around his knees protectively against the one thing the sand couldn't protect him from.

_Give me blood._

_Let me make us strong._

"It seems that lately you've been saying 'us' a whole lot." Gaara said dryly.

_YOU NEED ME!_

"He doesn't need you. He defeated you."

_QUIET!_

"I can defeat you too."

_QUIET! _The demon charged angrily, a dark mass of rage.

Gaara violently woke, shaking and breathing hard. The sudden movement just about gave Temari and Kankouro a heart attack and made them wide-awake.

Silence, only Gaara's breathing as it slowly relaxed and slowed.

Temari felt like she should say something comforting like, "Don't worry Gaara, we're almost home."

Yeah, some home.

It was a prison.

No really, it was a prison. It was carved into the cliffs on the outskirts of town to hold desert bandits, prisoners of war, and other dangerous criminals. It was the only place in the city that could "hold" Gaara when Shukaku broke out.

Years ago the prison had been cleaned out and disguised as a home. Bars had been replaced with doors and torture chambers had become bedrooms and a kitchen.

It still felt like a prison, and they all hated it.

Some people get homesick when they come home; others get homesick when they come home.

They would have gladly turned around and never returned, if they had somewhere, anywhere, to go.

A.N. Thank you guys so much for reviewing! You all rock! Inspired by your reviews I've decided to use this story to fill the gap between the approximate 3-week gap between the chuunin exam until the sand shinobi come save team-shikamaru… These chapters are oddly short and I don't want them to become angsty drabble, so expect some blood, guts and gore in the next chapter.

Lets just say the road back to the light isn't always smooth, or filled with puppies and snowcones.

Please correct me on any technical errors with names and phrases!


	5. Existence

Inner Demons 5 - Fight for Existence

_Screams, Screams as if the world is ending._

_Louder than a sand storm, louder than a storm of _**any**_ of the elements._

_Louder than any war cry, _

_The screams of pure fear, as thousands chorus together in unrivaled terror, running and running to get away from…_

…_A little boy with red hair and blue eyes._

* * *

_Have you ever woken up just feeling really, really pissed off?_

A ray of bright, white sunlight dripped through the window cut into the faded tan-colored stone, shining in a small square in a room filled with dark shadows.

In the center of the room on the floor was a figure covered in sand and a single blanket.

It looked like a large jail cell, except for the entire floor was covered with sand. The only object remotely similar to furniture was the sand gourd leaned against a shadowed corner.

The only decorations the scars carved into the walls from claws, dark once red stains like an angry abstract cover the walls, and sand sticks to the ceiling and the walls, dripping down in silent waterfalls.

No, it didn't look like a jail cell, it looked like a tomb.

It smelled of death.

Tense emotions of Hate, Anger, Pain, and even fear were laced through the room like invisible spider webs, hung thickly in the air.

Voices, loud and angry were yelling far in the distance.

Roughly they yanked Gaara from blissful dark unconsciousness into the sharp daggers of reality.

"SHUT UP!" Gaara shouted, and rolled over, trying to bury himself in the security of the sand. That strange yet familiar pounding and burning sensation screamed through his head.

His head felt…why couldn't he describe that feeling? What was the word for it? Gaara only knew only one thing about this sensation.

He didn't like it.

The voices only increased in anger and volume. Gaara was fuming with anger, he shakily forced himself upward, nearly collapsing on his left arm though he wasn't sure why. Gaara angrily recognized the room as his own as he tried to stand without falling.

"What idiot let me fall asleep!" He shouted, against the stonewalls.

Stone, blood, and sand didn't answer.

Gaara tried to shake off the sick hateful, furious, there weren't words to describe the feelings so thick in the air that felt so familiar, but he hated so much.

He had to get away. He had to stop it now.

Gaara stormed towards the door, slamming it open so hard that it made the gash in the wall behind the doorknob even deeper than it already was.

"SHUT UP!" He shouted into the stone house, shaking with fatigue and anger. Downstairs below him stood Temari and another sand shinobi.

Silence. The darkness from his room had melted out after him, shadows giving him the form of a nightmarish demon.

Temari stared up at Gaara, who looked worse than absolutely miserable. Covered in sweat, sand and blood, wearing clothes ripped and faded from sun and dust. He was hunched over, tired and holding his head in obvious pain.

Temari turned to the sand shinobi. He was tall, wearing Kazekage office advisor robes, with a dark beard that matched his eyes and cruel, cowardly heart.

"I suggest you leave," Temari whispered angrily, "As much as I'd like to see you try and kill Gaara now, Binsala." Temari's eyes laughed mercilessly at the shinobi officer who had just about wet himself when Gaara had appeared.

"That's LORD Binsala." The Kazekage advisorwhipped aroundto faceher angrily, "Who have no right to defy me."

Gaara stumbled and grabbed the banister for support, when he saw the ripped and dirty bandage hanging off of his left shoulder, his eyes widened as he remembered what had happened. Every emotion, every memory and image sinking into place instantly. The realization hit him so hard he nearly fell.

"Get out." Temari laughed, "I really couldn't care less what rank you are, you're still a bloody coward."

"Don't mock me you little whore!" Binsalashouted atTemari, " Your rank is mere dirt below mine!"

Binsala's hand flashed as it struck towards Temari's face.

The hand splashed harmlessly against a wall of sand.

Binsala froze in shock, and slowly turned to face up where Gaara was standing.

"Do you want to die?" Gaara's voice loomed darkly from upstairs, "Just say the word and it will be quick and painless. Touch my sister again, and it won't be."

A fear-filled silence filled the wide room.

"Get. Out." Gaara said firmly.

"Lord Gaara, let me explain--," Binsala bowed, only to get a face-full of sand that smashed him backwards into the door.

"GET THE HELL OUT!"

Binsala frantically tried to make a break for it, but sand wrapped around his legs and pulled him back.

Gaara smiled darkly, "Too late."

Temari gasped and her eyes went wide with shock as crimson blood splashed against her face in a sickening wave.

A different kind of silence settled upon the room. Upstairs Temari heard Gaara's door shut behind him.

* * *

Why wasn't she happy? Gaara leaned against the back of his door and slid to the ground. The horrified expression that Temari had given was imprinted into his mind, her unspoken screams getting louder and louder.

"But I protected her. Just like He had, with Her." Gaara spoke barely audibly, thinking of a guy with blonde hair, and a girl with pink hair.

"Why? WHY!" The darkness was starting to set back in, crawling on his skin and seeping into his mind.

Gaara glared at his room, and raised his hand out towards the three walls he hated so much, and for the first time in his life, he cleaned his room.

A huge sandstorm ripped through his prison, scraping against the walls and floors. Bloodstains were worn off, scars were shredded smooth, and every grain of sand, and filth went out the window in a brilliant blast.

Gaara looked at the spotless and simple room that lay before him, and sighed with relief and a slight satisfaction, relaxing against the door. The sun had moved and the ray of light had gotten a little brighter, but dark shadows, still remained.

* * *

Kankouro climbed in through the kitchen window carrying bags of supplies, struggling to set the stuff on the counter, he explained, "I saw blood underneath the front door. I'm guessing Gaara's gone back to normal."

He turned to his sister who was sitting in her seat at the table, blood was splashed on her face and she was shaking slightly, she half-stuttered, "D-depends on your definition of normal." She explained sounding agitated. Temari always sounded ticked off when she was scared real bad.

"So who'd he kill?" Kankouro grabbed out two candy bars andtossed one to Temari.

"Binsala." Temari opened the package shakily, "I haven't cleaned it up if you still want to see."

"No way," Kankouro said disbelievingly, "I was wondering when that bastard would get it. I hated that guy so much."

"Do you want to know the weird part?" Temari took a bite of the chocolate, "He killed him cause he was going to slap me."

"What?"

Gaara didn't laugh a whole lot, but the times he did it was because he had killed a whole lot of people, or when Temari had been slapped by Baki-sensei for not getting a jitsu right.

An awkward silence settled, Kankouro moved from where he had been leaning against the counter and sat in his seat at the table across from Temari.

Kankouro tried to change the subject, "You know what I really hate? Those stupid little brats back in Konoha. What did they have to be so freakin' happy about?"

Temari rolled her eyes in acknowledgement, "God I hated those kids." They both shook their heads.

"It would have been nice though, if when we were little…if we had someone looking out for us…you know?" Temari said thinking of how those morons Uchicha and those other two had protected the little kids. She was also thinking of all the days she and Kankouro had been picked on, and beaten by older kids, and sometimes adults. They had become a way of attacking Gaara, and getting away with it, that was until Temari and Kankouro had learned to fend for themselves, and make everyone else scared of them as well.

"So what's going on in Sunakagure?" Temari asked ending the painful reminiscing silence.

Kankouro let out a breath of disgust, "Pure chaos, not only are like half the desert ninjas dead from the battle, but there's a drought and people are dying, and now that our Kazekage's been dead for the past few weeks the whole place is divided into at least three major factions. Binsala was part of Al Kaeda's group."

"Yay." Temari twirled a finger around in mock excitement, "What do we do now?'

"How am I supposed to know?" Kankouro shrugged, "I got enough supplies to last us a week, but after that we'll have to something." He threw the candy wrapper behind him, not caring where it landed, "All of Sunakagre's gonna be history by the time we run out of food and water."

"Any word about Baki?"

"He's around, he said he'd stop by later. I think he's checking out the depths of the situation or what not." Kankouro got himself a drink of water before he paused, "He said he was glad we're alright."

"Do you mean he said he was glad Gaara was alright?" Temari spoke bitterly.

Kankouro drank his water so he wouldn't have to reply.

"What are we going to do about Gaara?" Temari brought up the main issue that was bothering them both.

"I think it's really what Gaara's gonna do to us," Kankouro said angrily, "Could we break out of here before he noticed?" he suggested.

"I don't know."

Silence.

Kankouro spoke for them both, "Damn Gaara. Damn this whole Damn Desert."

Kankouro stormed out of the kitchen angrily, once he got out of the kitchen door he froze, and looked up to see Gaara sitting on the ceiling.

The puppeteer stepped back in shock wishing he were in a thousand different places.

"Why do you hate me?"

"What?" Kankouro backed into a wall.

Gaara was suddenly in front of Kankouro yelling in his face, "WHY DO YOU HATE ME?"

"Gaara, I uh…"

"No! I Want An Answer Now!" Gaara held Kankouro's collar and pinned him against the wall, sand swishing around his feet.

Kankouro was too stunned out to speak.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" Gaara demanded.

Temari came out and gasped.

"Answer Me!" Faint traces of tears formed in Gaara's dark eyes, when Kankouro failed to answer Gaara angrily smashed his older brother into the wall with sand. Kankouro cried out in pain.

"GAARA STOP!" Temari shrieked before she could stop herself.

Gaara froze, and watched Kankouro fall to the ground bleeding, and gasping for breath. Temari ran to Kankouro and knelt at his side.

Gaara stared with wide eyes at his hands, and backed away, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Nothing he could say would change the looks of horror and hate imprinted on Temari and Kankouro's faces.

Gaara turned and ran, disappearing in a cloud of sand and shadows.

* * *

"No wonder they hate me."

* * *

Author's Note; Hey people, thank you for reading! I'm sorry about all the previous errors that totally ruined the story. Since there isn't a lot of info available about the sand village I'm going to be making up some original characters…tell me if they suck, really. (Hey how'd you like Binsala? With Al Quaeda? I mean Kaeda :). Yes, he's Osama. (I guess was is a more appropriate term)You know I was thinking 'desert' and bad guys we all want to see die.

I took a while describing Gaara's room because your bedroom is a window into your mind. (A lot of the stuff in this story is symbolic if you like deep reading)

Thank you for the corrections (Sarichan, etc…) I never would have known I screwed that stuff up. I've been having a total war with uploading and editing stories trying to fix that junk. You guys all rock.

(Oh yeah, tell me what other characters from the manga you'd like to see involved, that'd be cool)

**Next Chapter: _Where do you run when you have no where to go?_**


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